Live More

Fall has always felt like the right time for change and this year we are making quite a few.  We are simplifying, downsizing, making room for opportunity. 

The cows went to the auction block, every last one of them.  I'll miss Tinkerbell but she has spent the past 5 years becoming less of "my cow" and more a part of the herd.  We had several events this past year that made me realize we either needed a few more closed gates down our driveway or it was time for her to go to the sale.  The rest of the herd had a date with the auction block and it just felt like the right time for her to go with them.  I will miss her, I will miss the unique bond between human and animal but I have faith that she made it to another field and will bring someone a beautiful calf next spring.

I am giving up the nightlife of the ER for a more bland, less dramatic dayshift working with patients admitted to the hospital.  Less trauma, less adrenaline balanced with more family, more time with friends.  I admit I will miss the thrill of saving a life from the brink of death and there are those that have just giggled at my plans with an all knowing, "Oh, you'll be back..." but I believe this is the right choice to make right now. 

I vacillate between excitement and regret.  I love my job.  I love the people I work with and for.  It takes a lot out of me but I love it.  I will miss it.  I will NOT miss the exaustion of maintaining a nightshift life in a dayshift world.  I will not miss the choice of missing sleep or missing family, missing sleep or missing friends, missing sleep or missing fun.  I will not miss being too tired to remember anything.  I will not miss feeling left out of my own life.

Dayshift will be a big change for me.  I will need to be up by 4:30 on the mornings I work but I am excited to try something new.  It won't be as action packed as the ER but it will still be something I love.  I will continue to be the best nurse that I know how to be.  And who knows, maybe on those rare days that someone calls in sick, the powers that be will decide to float me back down to the ER to cover a shift or two.  It might be enough adrenaline to float me through -- and if it's not, I might just go skiing.

A New Normal

Spring was not a time for growth and regeneration this year.  In fact, it's been one of the tougher seasons of my adult life.  We said goodbye to Bitsy the Wonder Dog, then we said goodbye to my Grandpa Pete and then we lost my Dad.  It was bitter, it was cold and the storm front didn't pass until about last week when the sun finally peeked out from behind the clouds and the daily temperature shot from the 60's into the 90's.  I'm not going to pretend that it hasn't been rough.  It's been hell.  The important part is that we found our way through it and we did it as a family.

Things are different around here now.  The story continues but it's a definitely new chapter and the newness of it hasn't quite worn off yet.  There's a new crow from the chicken coop, the sound of a puppy yapping while she plays in the yard and the husky bark of my Dad's dog as he adjusts to his new home.  We have the bottom hay fields leased out to a neighbor, most of the cows have been moved to a different pasture closer town and even Tinkerbell has a date with the auction block in the next few months.  I'm slowly but surely decreasing the size of my chicken flock, I don't work as many overtime hours and I spend a few minutes of every one of my days literally watching our green grass grow -- yes, you read right, we finally have a lawn.

So yes, things are getting back to normal around here.  It's a new normal but we're all adjusting to it and embracing what it brings.

Not Much Happening...

I believe we are about finished calving out here on the farm.  I've decided to let go of the responsibility and let my father-in-law run the entire show.  If he gets to make all of the decisions then he can figure the rest out, too.  I just have Tinkerbell to worry about now and that seems to be enough for me - well, Stinky-Tinky AND the chickens, of course.  Tinkerbell had her calf last week.  He's a cutie.  He got a little confused after he was born and followed me all the way back up to the porch.  Tink was not happy about that but they figured it out and things have been fine since.

We will be bringing home a new puppy in another month or so.  She's a little Corgi.  I never thought I'd like that breed but I some how fell in love with the little beasts.  They are a big dog brain on little dog legs.  They are herders, which I think helps me understand them a little bit better than other breeds.  We'll see how Scout likes the company.

I've been spending my nights either at work or at home learning all about digital scrapbooking.  You'd think it would cost less and be much quicker but that hasn't quite turned out to be true in my case.  It probably has something to do with my ancient desktop computer that I still refuse to upgrade from XP.  

Chicks will begin arriving at the Feed Store this week.  My goal is to get a couple Americaunas (green egg layers) and a few little bantams.  That's it.  Now that I've figured out what I like and don't like about this chicken business, I'm going to thin down the flock some.  I think 30-40 chickens is about the perfect number.  So if you'd like any 1-2 year old hens that are already laying great eggs - just let me know and I'll get them ready for you!   

More Chicks!

I had nearly a 100% hatch rate on my latest incubator full of eggs and now I have 42 chicks that need a new home.  Fall may seem like an odd time to hatch chicks but I think it is the perfect time.  They can spend the first 5-8 weeks in a box in the garage as their feathers fill in and only need the heat of a lightbulb to keep warm through the nights once they move outside.  They should start laying eggs in April and lay nearly daily until November.  Most chickens like to take the winter off but I can usually convince them to keep laying by bribing them with some heat and light.

The downfall of getting chicks in the spring is they only have a month or two of established egg laying before the days shorten and weather chills - the two factors that can end the laying cycle until the following spring.  I look at the issue from a mathematical stand point.  Fall chicks tend to provide a better egg to food ratio over a lifetime than the spring chicks. 

Keeping chickens is so much easier than most people believe it to be.  My first flock I spent hundreds of hours in self-education and more money than I like to admit in building the perfect hen house.  My second flock, I incubated myself and used a left over dog house with a tarp over top of a chain link kennel.  Frankly, the second flock of chickens produced more eggs.

Chickens are so easy to keep that I think more people should have them.  Hens can live in most city yards.  They don't take a lot of space to live.  Fresh eggs actually do taste better than store bought eggs and it's nice to not only know where food comes from but what it's treated with before it gets to the frig.

If you want to give it a try - call me.  I can hook you up with eggs or chickens or both...  If you don't like raising chickens - you can bring the chickens back to me - or eat them. 

Eggs for Sale...

So today I made my first official egg sale.  I met a gentleman in Bend and sold him a carton of 18 eggs for $4.  Of course - I threw in an extra carton for good measure...  Why not - I have so many right now that we are out of space in both refrigerators and there is no way I'm going to buy an extra frig just to store eggs!  I mean - for that kind of money I could get another fancy little chicken coop and another 50 chickens or so...  And yes, friends, that is truly how my brain works these days.

I still need to make about 20 more chicken coats.  They wear them on their backs to prevent them and their coop-mates from eating/picking all of their feathers off.  For a few, I'm a little late.  Poor Big Mama looks like a nearly bald chicken.  It's not pretty.  It's on the edge of frightening when you stare at her long enough.  I thought about isolating her in the brooder in the garage until she fills back out but chickens just hate to be alone and they already pick on her so much - I'm afraid I'll never be able to get her integrated back into the flock.

She's one of my favorites.  Big Mama, The-Little-White-Hen, Blackie, Blondie and Zoey's Rooster are my only chickens with names and they are my favorites.  They are also some of the rougher looking birds right now - I think maybe because they are the most gentle and get picked on the most.  Maybe when it gets a little cooler I'll move a couple of them inside the garage together to regrow their feathers and fatten them up a bit.  There's an idea...

I'm not looking forward to my return to work tomorrow.  Yes, I love my job but sometimes work really feels like work and I don't feel caught up with anything around the house.  I signed up for a bunch of extra shifts in the next couple weeks, too.  I guess that is what I'm really dreading.  It's not really the extra hours - it's the lack of rest in between regular shifts and extra shifts that kills me.  I mean - I see most of the people on one of the worst days of their lives.  You get enough of those in a row and the mind begins to crave Farmville.  Point - click - point - click...  You get the idea. 

Ironically, I do get more regular sleep while I am working, though - so that's a plus.  I don't think I've had more than 2-3 hours of sleep in a row for the past 4 days - except for Monday.  I fell asleep around 6 am and Jeff woke me up around 8-9 that night.  I probably could have slept nearly 24 hours straight.  That's the way it works...  Someday I might change things but for now it's a necessary evil. 

Balancing Act

As time disappears into nothing more than brief flashbacks, I find myself wondering where the heck this summer has gone - and then it comes to me...  I've spent most of my summer trying either to be asleep or awake, neither of which has been much of a success.  Nightshift.  Extra shifts.  It's not that I'm ALWAYS at work - it's that the futile attempt of fitting a nightshift life into a dayshift world has left me hopelessly unbalanced.  So why do I do it?  Good question.

The easiest answer is the extra money.  (You didn't think we all sacrificed our sleep for free, did you?)  The less politically appropriate answer is bureaucracy, by definition "the organizational structure, procedures, protocols, and set of regulations in place to manage activity in large organizations."  At night, all of the people responsible for this go home and it is amazing how much more efficient the workplace becomes.  We still follow rules, protocols and regulations but it's without the chaos and banter of policy writers around.  It's quiet.  It's peaceful.  It's actually enjoyable.

It takes me a solid two nights off to begin pretending I'm the least bit awake before noon.  In truth, it takes a full 3-4 nights off to actually wake up before noon without an alarm clock.  We've all experienced Jet Lag a time or two in our lives switching time zones on vacation - well, offset your life by 12 hours and that is my time zone.  I am hungry at midnight, I am sleepy at sunrise and I am mentally just waking up around 6 pm.  I usually go to sleep by 8 am and my alarm is set between 3:30 pm and 4:30 pm - which still usually feels two hours too early for me.  I crave coffee between 7 pm and midnight and I don't really feel chatty until after 9 pm. 

For now, this is the way life is and instead of asking everyone else to change their lives for me, I do my best to accommodate them by sacrificing precious sleep.  This is not without consequence, though.  My mood, my memory and my ability to think clearly pay the price.  I spend those rare daylight hours I'm off and awake trying to cram in as many tasks and events as I possibly can - and on those nights I can't sleep (most of them) I try to keep in touch with friends and family via Facebook. 

I don't think it will be like this forever.  I look forward to the day that my eyes are not stinging, my ears are not ringing and my digestive tract knows what to expect.  It would be nice to get at least 8 hours of sleep within a 24 hour period more than 2 days in a row without neglecting resposibilities or letting friends and family down.  Right now, it's just not a possibility -- so I hold on to the dream of balance and just do the best that I can. 

So...

It turns out I'm not very good at blogging...  I think it may have been all of the time I spent on FarmVille.  I'm cutting back on that.  I'm experiencing some withdrawal but I've promised myself not to plant any crops until my real garden is planted.  I tried to convince Jeff that we ought to test out some farm implements this year - plow the front yard then drill it with hay seed.  Then - when it comes time to mow the lawn, we can bale it and feed it to some hungry critter around here.  He looked at me like I was joking - I think he may be in for a surprise down the road.

I'm resisting all temptation to order some turkey poults - so far, that is...  I'm not sure why I want them but I keep finding myself looking through hatchery sites to find them.  I have cut the chicken flock down a few roosters, I'm giving away 5 of my flightier hens to a fellow farmer who needs his flock boosted a bit - and I'm giving two of my calmest, sweetest hens to my just-as-sweet massage therapist who tragically lost one of her hens last week.  That ought to leave me with 65 birds total -- 6 roosters, 33 laying hens and 26 pullets that should start laying mid July...  If I only had another chicken pen and hired hand to help with the daily feeding/watering.

In truth, it sounds like more chickens than it looks.  Even Jeff was surprised by the number.  They really don't take up much space - and even if you give them space, most of them tend to huddle together.  I can't help but notice all of the empty old barns and sheds I see along the highway and think, "Geez - I could fit a hundred chickens in there!"