Identity Crisis?

I'm just not a morning person.  I never have been.  My mom bought an alarm clock for my little sister and I when we were in preschool and kindergarten because she didn't want to be the one to wake us grumpy girls up in the morning.  My sister adjusted.  I did not.  I like to stay up late.  I like quiet.  I like to gently let go of my dreams and ease into my day.  Being thrown into wakefulness with the annoying shrill of a clock leaves me feeling unbalanced and unsettled for the first few hours of each day.

I've tried to be positive about my move to day shift but honesty tends to win out with me.  It's hard.  It's like the beginning of a new fitness routine.  Do I like it?  Um... Yes?  Maybe?  It will get better, I think.  I still find myself sleeping in until 10 every morning the alarm is not set.  Sometimes it's closer to noon that I crawl out from the covers in a blind fog in search for coffee, like today.  Eh, it is what it is.  I am who I am.  I think maybe that my internal clock is Australian.

And then there's the cows...  Our neighbor is using our corral for his herd and I have to admit, it's something I really miss.  I found a calf out of the pen late last night.  I wasn't quite sure how I was going to get her back where she belonged but we've had some close encounters with coyotes (and maybe even a cougar) so I knew this wasn't something that could wait until daylight.  Unbelievably, she let me pick her up and set her back in the pen through the fence rails - which was great news because the gate was on the opposite end of the corral.  There's something sweet about that warm, soft fur and blind trust that just has a way of making everything in this world seem so simple.  I miss that.

So now I'm a night person working days who lives on a farm without cows and an ER nurse in the part of the hospital that doesn't really have emergencies and I'm not really too sure how this life is suppose to fit into my psyche.  It's all a bit foreign to me. 

For now I think I will go get my poop boots on, trek through the mud and go check on the cows that aren't ours and scan the highway for any possible traumas on my way.

A New Normal

Spring was not a time for growth and regeneration this year.  In fact, it's been one of the tougher seasons of my adult life.  We said goodbye to Bitsy the Wonder Dog, then we said goodbye to my Grandpa Pete and then we lost my Dad.  It was bitter, it was cold and the storm front didn't pass until about last week when the sun finally peeked out from behind the clouds and the daily temperature shot from the 60's into the 90's.  I'm not going to pretend that it hasn't been rough.  It's been hell.  The important part is that we found our way through it and we did it as a family.

Things are different around here now.  The story continues but it's a definitely new chapter and the newness of it hasn't quite worn off yet.  There's a new crow from the chicken coop, the sound of a puppy yapping while she plays in the yard and the husky bark of my Dad's dog as he adjusts to his new home.  We have the bottom hay fields leased out to a neighbor, most of the cows have been moved to a different pasture closer town and even Tinkerbell has a date with the auction block in the next few months.  I'm slowly but surely decreasing the size of my chicken flock, I don't work as many overtime hours and I spend a few minutes of every one of my days literally watching our green grass grow -- yes, you read right, we finally have a lawn.

So yes, things are getting back to normal around here.  It's a new normal but we're all adjusting to it and embracing what it brings.

Not Much Happening...

I believe we are about finished calving out here on the farm.  I've decided to let go of the responsibility and let my father-in-law run the entire show.  If he gets to make all of the decisions then he can figure the rest out, too.  I just have Tinkerbell to worry about now and that seems to be enough for me - well, Stinky-Tinky AND the chickens, of course.  Tinkerbell had her calf last week.  He's a cutie.  He got a little confused after he was born and followed me all the way back up to the porch.  Tink was not happy about that but they figured it out and things have been fine since.

We will be bringing home a new puppy in another month or so.  She's a little Corgi.  I never thought I'd like that breed but I some how fell in love with the little beasts.  They are a big dog brain on little dog legs.  They are herders, which I think helps me understand them a little bit better than other breeds.  We'll see how Scout likes the company.

I've been spending my nights either at work or at home learning all about digital scrapbooking.  You'd think it would cost less and be much quicker but that hasn't quite turned out to be true in my case.  It probably has something to do with my ancient desktop computer that I still refuse to upgrade from XP.  

Chicks will begin arriving at the Feed Store this week.  My goal is to get a couple Americaunas (green egg layers) and a few little bantams.  That's it.  Now that I've figured out what I like and don't like about this chicken business, I'm going to thin down the flock some.  I think 30-40 chickens is about the perfect number.  So if you'd like any 1-2 year old hens that are already laying great eggs - just let me know and I'll get them ready for you!   

Spring Improvements

The chickens are free ranging and the dogs are not, I think we only have 1 cow left to calve this year and a friend is finishing my much desired garden boxes.  As much work as our lives can be at times, this is what makes it all worth it.  A ray of sunshine, two baskets of fresh eggs, playful calves running around the pasture, healthy happy dogs and dark fertile soil full of promises - this is the good stuff.