Is it Time for Coffee or Wine?

The deer have been into the trees, the dogs have been into the flower beds, frost in the garden and moles in the lawn. The sink is overflowing with dirty dishes, the laundry room bulging at the seams and I'm pretty sure those are dust bunnies in the hall but let's be honest, they may be actual bunnies. The dogs have gone feral, the chickens are giving me stink-eye with some very unpleasant cackles and I think my house plants are picking up their roots and attempting to move out.

I think Jeff still lives here but between John Deere, the restaurant, the farm and my crazy hours; I don't think we've been awake, or even asleep, and in the same room for nearly 2 weeks.

THIS. This is why I'm so thankful I don't pull overtime shifts very often and get to work part time. Balance is everything.

Now to go cut off a slice of that big, bad, buck sausage and toast to next hunting season. I've had 12 hours of sleep since Sunday and I've lost my patience. #DontEatMyTreesOrWeEatYou, #WhatDayIsIt, #IsItTimeForCoffeeOrWine

Five Kids, One Auntie and NO Wipes

If you can handle caring for a dementia patient sundowning, an ETOH patient in withdrawal, while hanging a cardiac drip on an unstable arrhythmia patient all at the same time -- you can take on a niece and four nephews at the hotel alone...

At least until your sister sends you on a scavenger hunt at IKEA, on a Sunday, for a table you've never seen, with the 5 children, one who dirties his pull-up and all of them suddenly "starving" -- then I suggest bringing back up, because unless you've managed a pack of velociraptors on your own -- you have no idea what you are setting yourself up for.

I'm pretty sure she just punked me. Even the cashier laughed until she had tears in her eyes.

#WhereWereTheCameras
#WhatDoYouMeanTheWipesAreGone
#TheyLookSoSweet
#AliveAndNotLost
#StillSmiling

Know When to Walk Away

I started my day attempting to renew the boat registration.  It's all online now.  You need an account to log in but our boat isn't associated with an account so I can't renew it. Forty minutes of frustration that needs a Mon-Fri, 9-5 follow up phone call to Salem -- epic fail.

So I dig out the roto-tiller to go burn off some frustration and out of the 8 yellow diesel containers actually full of ethanol free gasoline, (talk to Jeff - you all know I'm a color coded rule follower), I fill the tank with the only can of diesel we have on the property.  Yes - I caught it BUT until you've syphoned diesel out of a gas tank in 90 degree weather - you have no idea how bad that sucks.

By now, I'm pretty freakin' hot and cranky.  I take to the yard to patch all the vole trails carved into once beautiful lawn...  They burrow into the roots and leave ugly dead paths that need to be raked up, leveled and reseeded.  It's not fun work but it has to be done.

I'm crawling around the yard on my hands and knees patching things up - and what do I see in the lawn next to me but a (SCREAM!!!!!) snake...  Jeff grabs for his gun, I grab my itty bitty yard rake, I'm yelling at Jeff to kill it but not to shoot (the hot tub was too close).  It slithers away in the chaos and reappears just as I get ready to move the sprinkler then retreats UNDER THE DECK (gulp).

It gets worse.  It's a rubber boa - harmless to humans (supposedly) and get what it eats -- yard trashing voles...  Dang.  For someone who believes that the only good snake is a dead snake -- this is a pickle of a situation, indeed.

I'm giving up on this day, mixing cocktails on the deck and getting use to the idea that Herb, the vole eating snake, and I can somehow coexist.  Jeff is still somewhere in the shop bellylaughing his ass off.  I'll give him this one - because if it had been a rattlesnake, we'd be moving right now.

Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run - and know when to pour a drink.

#ComeVisit
#BringIce
#WearSnakeBoots